February 2012
13 posts
to do.
i have all these things i want to do and should do, but i can’t start and finish any of them.
mend my jeans. read a fucking book. read a good fucking book. read a book that will make me feel better about life. remind myself how to knit. knit something. finish teaching myself to crochet. crochet something great. start that diet. stop eating so much. buy that bike. exercise. eat smoothies all...
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.”
– Josephine Hart (via butchrag, mols) (via painsmypleasure) (via eweyerhu)
Why is it so easy for me to get sad and so hard to get happy?
“If you want to know where you’ll be in 5 years, listen to what you talk...”
INSECURITY.
about everything Me.
i need to know that without a reasonable doubt, i am the one. that i have always been the one. that i will be the one.
can you do that for me?
no more of this going back and forth, at least maybe just from me.
i can’t handle your past. i just need to be your present and your future.
highs and lows
so many incredible highs.
so many low lows.
when does it even out? this yo-yo makes it hard to breathe.
“Let your past make you better, not bitter.”
January 2012
27 posts
good enough
“What’s sad here is how common it seems to be for girls to think of blowjobs as something they’d better be good at, or else they’ll be losers, rather than something they can enjoy. The authors are right that girls are already encouraged to think of their sexuality as something for other people to judge — are they having sex with the right people, at the right time, in the right kind of...
lonely.
sat in the sun at work today.
i thought there was a little hope.
i guess there still is.
it’s just hard to remember and find sometimes. sometimes meaning a lot these days.
“I can’t turn on my computer or television without being assaulted by messages...”
– Take Care of Yourself for the Holidays, By: Twistie. (via rufflesnotdiets)
where did my self-esteem go? where did i go? when did i cease to be the strong, intelligent, capable person i used to be? how did i become this person i don’t like, and because of that, no one likes?
i have no friends here. i am not me.
i do not want to be me or to exist.
i no longer want to exist.
assertiveness.
i need to work for me.
do me.
be assertive and go after what i want. say what i want. say what i need.
don’t let others boss me around and dictate my every action.
i am me. i was me first. not anyone else’s.
be freaking assertive, amanda. it’s your life.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2012-1-1) →
Tchaikovsky, Piotr Ilyich (1840-1893) (17)
Glee Cast (4)
Of Monsters And Men (4)
Lana del Rey (4)
The Raveonettes (4)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
2012 to do
-wake up each morning knowing i am lucky for so many reasons. wake up excited.
-don’t let the little things become so overwhelming.
-work on feeling healthy. eat more vegetables, walk more, look into seriously buy that elliptical, drink more water.
-the past is the past. today i stop worrying about it and rehashing things that do not make me happy. this is today, tomorrow is tomorrow,...
“it will be a fantastic year! Don’t believe the negative thoughts if they...”
December 2011
78 posts
wishes
all i wanted was him last year. all i had wanted was him, for a year. and i had to wait a long time for him.
but now i have him. and i am living in cairo. but still, is this happy?
i don’t know.
i got what i wished for. i think.
“I found god in myself & I loved her fiercely.”
– Ntozake Shange
plans
Graduating makes me reminisce about college. Things didn’t go as planned, but I’m happy they didn’t. I’m in a good place. #goodriddance
